Sadness and pity (K'leren)

[hrsegrl]

It was only a candlemark since she had gone to check on the new dragonets. Their illness was one thing but the deformities made Ruet feel a sense of helplessness. Something she had not felt since she was a very little girl, ill with a horrible fever. She had finally made it to her weyr at a decent hour tonight. She would check on Sharieth in a little while, for now she was upset to a point that she was crying softly.

Those poor dragons and their riders. They looked to her to make them better but what could she do? The larger dragonets in particular would have no real use at the Weyr. For the first time in all her turns of healing, Ruet felt a failure.

With teary eyes she sat on her bed and looked out at the empty ledge. She had her own clutch to worry over now. If anything were wrong with this next Hatching, Ruet might not be able to handle it. She was a Weyrwoman, she had to be strong and not give in to this self pity. Shivering slightly against a brief draft, she folded her arms, stormy blue eyes still looking blankly at the empty ledge.

[Memorie]

K'leren padded in to their weyr slowly, carrying two mugs of warm klah. It was drizzling outside now, and soon, a storm would be upon them. He smiled. Storms were his favorite things, right next to his dragon and his woman. And it would be the perfect reason to be with said woman. His blood pumped faster just thinking of it. He really did love her. That's why, when he noticed her slumped posture, almost defeated, his initial response was anger. The first primal thought that ran through his mind was, Who's fault is this? Then he realized the circumstances, and especially with Zharieth's most recent Hatching, and knew that she was feeling down. This wasn't necessarily uncommon with her; Ruet tended towards melancholy. But that was just the thing the bronzerider loved so dearly about her--she needed him. And he needed her.

K'leren approached her slowly. He went to her side of their bed and sat down slowly on the top of furs next to her, depositing the mugs on her nightstand. Putting an arm around his woman, he put his forehead to the side of her head. Quietly, "Worrying about the clutches, Rue?" he asked.

[hrsegrl]

The drizzle outside was almost as depressing as her mood. She was so lost in her thoughts that Rue never heard her new mate enter. It wasn't until he sat down next to her that she knew he was there. After what seemed like forever she turned her tear streaked face toward him. "I can't help them..."It was her way of saying she failed the dragonets. She certainly couldn't face Lyrai with that statement nor Zhariath.

"They will never be healthy dragons and always they will be deformed. I don't know what to do. I can not tell Lyrai right now, not when Sharieth's clutch is so numerous and healthy looking. Now I am even worried about Sharieth's clutch. I get this overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen." Ruet looked back out at the darkening skies.

[Memorie]

K'leren looked at her. She was truly miserable. "Rue, this isn't your fault." This was always just like her--blaming herself for things out of her control. And it didn't help that she was healer, and so she thought she should know how to fix everything. "It's out of your control, darling woman." He knew she felt like she'd failed Lyrai and Zharieth, the two beings who had been with her through thick and thin.

"They will never be healthy dragons, and they will always be deformed. I don't know what to do. I cannot tell LYrai right now, not when Sharieth's clutch is so numerous and healthy-looking." She sniffled. "Now I am even worried about Sharieth's clutch. I get this overwhelming feeling that something bad is going to happen." He took her in his long arms, even though her legs were pulled up to her chest.

"Ruet, Lyrai can't and won't blame you for Sharieth's clutch. Her clutch turned out as it did because of Rak...well, because of some bad poison. There is no way you could have prevented it, and you're right, you can't help the dragonets." He smiled ruefully at her. "But when you say that they will never be healthy...well, I would remind you of what people told you yourself when you Impressed Sharieth. I certainly remember."

[hrsegrl]

Rue listened to his words, knowing he was trying to comfort her. She gave him a soft almost secretive smile. He was there for her , which was something she had not been accustomed to before. To be held in his arms was comforting. It bothered her to no end that she was not able to control the situation with the new Weyrlings but she would not say that outloud. It was not like she was a controlling person but when it came to what she knew best she liked to have all the answers and be able to handle every situation.

"I hope they end up in Sharieth's position with all my heart, but the healers and I have been talking and there are significant differences between Sharieth and the new Weyrlings." For starters Sharieth was never deformed, she was ill from sharing a shell with her sister but not from poison. The illness she might be able to heal them from but deformities coudl not be overcome. What were they to do with them later in life? Some of them would not ever fly. She put her hands on K'leren's arms as they wrapped around her.

Sighing softly she spoke again, "Sharieth is who I should be concerned with now anyway." Would she never shake the feeling that something was about to go terribly wrong? Maybe she was just thinking too much of Zhariath's clutching and hatching. So far Sharieth's clutch was fine and healthy as was Sharieth.

[Memorie]

"There are differences, yes. But everything on Pern has its place, and they will find theirs. There exists a purpose for all things, and we just may not know it yet. But we will." Her hands rested on his steady arms. He smiled and put his face in her blonde hair. Still smiling, he kissed her head. "Yes, be concerned about Sharieth, but don't stress her out too much." Such a worry-wher. "And as for something going wrong, what could possibly go wrong?" But he was stricken with the feeling as well. He decided to chalk it up to the chilly weather. "We will all be fine, and Sharieth's clutch will be born healthy." Even if I have to skin Rakken and use him as a decorative rug on my dragon's couch. But he didn't say that. That would would have just upset his mate more.

He dislodged one of his arms to reach for a still-steaming mug. "Now, drink some klah. You need to keep warm, Rue. It's a bit chilly, especially with it raining outside." After handing her the mug, he replaced his arm. "I know you can't help it, but try not to worry too much. Nemenath is watching over Sharieth, you know that. He only leaves after she hunts so he can hunt too. And there is always someone with the eggs."

[hrsegrl]

Ruet nodded, agreeing that she was worrying too much. "You're right."
Placing two hands around her mug, she took a sip of klah. He was wonderful, taking time to do so much for her. She put a smile on, trying to be happy and put her worries aside. "It is going to be colder with that storm coming." She moved as close to him as she could without being on top of him.

"I'm so glad you are with me right now." No one had ever cared more for her well being and more than that, her dragon's. She kissed his cheek gently. "Darling, I love you."

[Memorie]

K'leren smiled, pleased as punch that he had broken through her melancholy mood. He cared for her very much, more than he cared for any other person on the planet, and it made him happy to make her happy. "I'll be chasing your starlight until the end of time, Ruet." He smiled at her kiss, and marvelled how each time felt like the first. "I love you too." He sunk his face into her hair again. It was practically his favorite place to be, among the sweet-smelling waves that never went without washing for more than one day.